Bravo Hajra for speaking out against such horror. Rape is never the fault of the victim, EVER. It is a crime of brutality, of the strong brutalizing the weaker. So sad to hear of this victim, and think of all the others. It sure takes Delhi off my bucket list of places I want to see.
Will the real men please stand up
|December 29, 2012||Posted by Hajra under Horror, Trouble, Women|
On the morning of 17th December 2012, I woke up to news of a horrendous crime done yet again. A rape case in Delhi. I have lived in the city for a year, studied there, worked there and a lot of people have telling me to write about it on my blog. So finally, I do it. Just hours after the victim breathed her last.
A 23 year old girl and her male friend were returning from the movies. They boarded a bus and little did they know that the bus was stolen and the five passengers in the bus were friends of the driver. What followed was assault of the victim, her friend, her being gang raped, being hit multiple times with a metal rod; all this while driving through the city and then being dumped.
The lady suffered several injuries, her intestines had to be removed and breath her last a few hours ago.
Delhi is described as India’s rape capital. But it isn’t only about the city. It is about doing something so horrible and getting away with it. Its about security, about safety and about humanity.
It isn’t the first time a girl has been raped, not at least the first time in Delhi. The city reported over 24,000 rape incidents just last year. Only one person out of those thousand accused of rape was charged. Wait, the horror isn’t over. A lot more than 24,000 cases have not been reported – out of shame, out of lack of faith in justice, out of lack of support from family and out of sheer fear of the police.
But what followed was a public outrage so tremendous that it jolted the whole nation. The public wants a speedy trial and a strict punishment. Not just strict, very strict.
And while the country battled for stricter laws and better police forces, the horror continued.
In the very same city that stood up for justice and people thronged for protests, another lady was gang raped and dumped on the streets of Delhi just after Christmas.
And in Punjab, a 17 year old gang rape victim, committed suicide after the police pressured her to marry one of her attackers.
Are you we losing it?
I don’t know who not to blame. The men involved in such dreadful acts need to be put behind bars for life – and life means forever and ever.
But what about the police involved. And people who question the victim saying that she shouldn’t have been on the road at 10 PM, that she shouldn’t have worn clothes that “lead” to such offences, that it was her fault to some extent.
Are we the problem?
We are in one way. We tell the woman “how not to get raped”. Why don’t we tell the men “don’t rape”. Wait, why don’t some of the men know it already. Don’t we all like living in a world where we can step out at any time of the day (or night) and be sure that we don’t get raped and beaten to death. Without having to carry Swiss army knives, pepper sprays and other ways to “protect” ourselves.
I end the year saying a silent prayer for women out there who fear men, who have fought against men for respect, who have been assaulted, who have been raped, who have been beaten to death, who have been questioned for the way they dress, who have felt unsafe stepping out of the house alone and for those who didn’t get a chance to raise their voice against all the atrocities.
Here’s hoping 2013 will be a little less evil.
Hajra - This was a horrifying incident that happened and yes, we need to stand up against such horrendous crimes and start a movement to punish those responsible.
I know how the bureaucracy works back there and it is something we feel ashamed of,, but really we are just not doing anything which will really see the end of such crimes.
Hajra this is ridiculous I can not believe a bus could travel though the city undetected. The family should be able to sue the bus operator like the city or whoever. This disgusts me that women are being made to feel they are to blame for crimes committed against them.
This upsets me very much.
What a horrible shame that the police wanted the rape victim to marry her attacker. What a twisted society?
For 24000 reported and the women knowing how shameful it is to families (which is crazy) and knowing the system is not in their favor, there has got to probably be at least 10 times that many rapes each year and that might be an underestimate.
I know the family of the girl that died wants to keep her identity private and that is a shame. Here in the US where horrible crimes have been committed and causes are rallied around by the tragedy the name becomes a symbol of injustice. Things get done and may be that person does not die in vain. We have a thing called the "Amber Alert" we have the "Polly Klaas case", "Michaela Garecht". People can relate to a name and a face and remember what happened years after and the public awareness brings about change.
You are absolutely right real men don't rape. Families should also not feel shame and instead they should be outraged. I am so glad the fight is on for the rights of women. There is power in numbers and we all hope there is a change soon.
Truly sad but even more frustrating. I don't know what's happening to the world, to all of us. I seem to be out of words and can't help but keep shaking my head.
This situation is all over the news here in the UK but reading your post and the facts included makes it even more alarming. just one charged out of over 24,000 cases is disgusting.
I was on a blog the other day where the owner mentioned this in brief. One of the comments he received lit me up like a firework as he blamed the people for the clothing they wear. Which made me sick, so I let it be known how I felt.
The people committing these crimes should be punished to the full extent of the law as should those that think its ok not to investigate such crimes.
The responsibility shouldn't be thrown back to the victims for the clothes they wear. That's just the rapists making excuses for their actions.
I often say that for every action there's a re-action and it's pleasing to see the good people of India standing up and saying enough is enough and if the news here is true then good on them for standing up and getting things changed.
I've heard that 6 are now facing the death penalty, GOOD. I hope that hanging them will make others think, personally I'd hang a board around their necks telling the community what they're guilty of and then hang them in public to tell others that if they commit these crimes they can expect the same treatment.
Here's hoping Hajra. take care my friend.
This is a very sad story. I am so sorry for the victims of these terrible crimes. Real men do not rape! Thank you for bringing this situation to our attention.
Hi Hajra, Thank you for bringing attention to this horrific crime. I used to be a rape crisis counselor and spoke on rape prevention around the community. There are so many misconceptions about rape. We don't blame the victim for any other crime, yet all too often the victims of rape are blamed. Rape happens to people of all ages, in all types of clothing, to men and to women, in all sorts of places, at all hours of the day and night. There is no certain way to avoid rape, but rapists must be prosecuted and severely punished.
Your eloquent post will hopefully help to educate people on the seriousness of the crime and the need for the citizens of Delhi to demand prosecution and punishment for the criminals. Until they do, no one is safe.
Hajra one of my basic beliefs is that rape is a power game indulged in by powerless people who fail to love themselves and care for anyone or anything. Gangs or even groups of friends often fueled by drugs and alcohol to remove inhibition, exert their power by destroying another human being. Many military people are bullies and brutes in uniform. Yes we need to protest but what we really need to protest is the powerlessness of people who then need violence and cruelty to make them feel like they matter. Sad though - they then feel worse and need to do it again. And sorry but many of our law makers use the power of their positions in a similar way - they rape the land, a group of people and no one censors them. we have no sense of personal responsibility and we are abused when we say no. Powerful blog that you were brave to write. Now stay safe.
This case is horrendous. Not just because she was gang-raped, or that the pole was used as an instrument of rape, inserted into her vagina repeatedly and with force, thereby destroying her intestines- but because, this is almost acceptable practice. Rape is used as a form of terror in places of war- where it should be considered a war crime. But, in places like India, Pakistan, Japan, and other places where women are either second class citizens or to be treated as "little ladies who hide at home", the men who perpetrate these crimes are rarely if ever punished.
This heinous cycle must be stopped.
I'm with you, Hajra!
Amen to all that Hajra,
What a shame that we, somehow, try to blame women for a crime committed against them. That's just so terrible.
Shame on those psychos who fantasize of having sex with a frighten woman. That tells you the level of their psychosis and they should be locked out and never, ever, let out. Gosh I have no mercy for this type of individuals and as far as I'm concerned they could be hanged and don't waste our tax money.
Thanks for speaking out about this topic.
My respect for you is immense Hajra for writing about this. Whew, this is heady! I've been following this in dismay as some things paralyze me with anger - this being one of them. You state volumes with, "Will Real Men Please Stand Up" ... volumes!
Thank you for courage and for putting words in place where so few lack in any explanation. Stay faithful and true.
This is horrifying and brutal, no doubt, Hajra. However, I'm hoping that something good will come of it - with the sense of outrage much of India is feeling. If only we can channelize that to have more conversations with children about gender issues, take away the 'shame' of rape from the victim and work towards better laws. For the first time in India, a rape victim was really seen as a victim by a large majority of people - and that's a step in the right direction. What I shudder to think about is all the rape and abuse that goes without notice - sometimes in our own homes.
Hajra, yes, here's hoping 2013 is a little less evil. Gosh. I echo Bill's comment. No means no in any language.
Thank you, Hajra, for speaking up, this is such a sad tragedy, a horror for which words fail me.
At first I was asking myself: how could this have happened, what - in a bus? Were there no other people present who would try to save the victim? How devious to highjack a bus and attack somebody who will think herself to be safe as a passenger.
Rape is a global problem, be it in India, the United Stated or Switzerland. And I shudder to think that only a minimal percentage gets reported (and prosecuted) because the victims feel ashamed or guilty or have no faith in the police force. Was it not only months ago that an American senator said something about a woman cannot get pregnant when raped .... Rape is about dominance executed mostly by men, they come equipped with the mindset and the tools.
I am glad about the massive protest and demonstrations and I pray for them never to stop. This way change might come about but honestly I have very little faith in mankind but as you say I also hope this protest "results in a stricter judgment and better law enforcement."
@Cathy Tittle I hate it when they make it the fault of the victim. And there is no excuse for such terrible acts.
Delhi is still a lovely place to visit though!
@techivy11 This was a wake up call. Its horrifying that things still haven't stopped despite the uproar.
The bureaucracy really doesn't care it seems.
@Ethical Behavior Boy It is. And it was a stolen bus. This incident shook the whole nation. But sadly, in India, there is a rape happening every 20 minutes.
@Mary Stephenson A very twisted society actually. In India we have rules hiding the identity of the victim for obvious reasons of making life difficult for them further on. But now the parents are trying to make it public because they want to get the justice she deserves.
I do hope things change soon. It is terrible to see such things happening in the society.
P.S. Could you please link me back to your blog? I can't seem to find it in your Livefyre info! Sorry!
@jpage.manuel Like someone who said that the more we are progressing, the more we are taking a step back.
@Erin F. I hope so too.
@barry_wells I hate it why and how everything but the men doing it are blamed by some people. There is a lot of debate of how women dress and how in some ways they are "inviting" the men and how woman are to be equally blamed. It makes me sick to even think about people having such views. Such a terrible thing to do.
The trial started today and let's see what the punishment is. There has to be something severe so that people are scared of doing this, especially in places where woman are treated as second hand citizens.
Here's hoping. Thanks for stopping by. Always appreciated.
@JanetteFuller They so do not. I hope a lot more people get the message! :) Thanks for stopping by.
@wonderoftech In many cases, the victims have been blamed and that breaks my heart. I could talk to you someday to get more insight about your experiences as a rape crisis counselor. But do you stricter punishment might be a deterrent for other or are some people just not scared?
I just hope there is shift towards attitude change too. It is a necessity in the long term.
@RobertaBudvietas Thanks so much for stopping by. There are just so many factors that go behind a crime that it gets difficult to put our finger on one cause. But yes, the laws need to be stricter so that it acts at reducing the probability of such things happening so often and without any fear absolutely.
@RAAckerman And I'm with you!! The more men stand up, speak out, and condemn these acts, the faster change will come. I agree - rape should be considered an act of terror and a war crime. It is both, depending on the circumstances. I think that it is also a hate crime; no one who does not hate could rape another human being, whether the victim is a woman, a man, a child - it's not just women who are raped, they just happen to be the majority.
Any politician who believes that women "invite" rape, Hajra, should be voted out at the earliest opportunity. A woman is responsible only for how others may think of her if she dresses like a streetwalker - but anyone who raises so much as a hand against her is responsible for their own behavior. We have plenty such politicians, here - if you were paying any attention at all, last October, you can't fail to have noticed that such attitudes on this issue are still common in the U.S., as well. Fortunately, most of those people lost in their elections - but not all.
@RAAckerman It is. And the details are so stomach churning. I am violated by the response which is coming in from some people - there is a "politician" who said today that woman "invite" rapists and they should be dressing modestly. Whatever that means.
I am just hoping it stops somehow - at least we move one step forward towards an attitude change, that woman are beings too; not something they should be dominated over.
@SylvianeNuccio It so is. I wonder how for those 45 minutes of torture not one of them thought about what a horrific thing they were doing. No mercy is the thing people are fighting for. The protests in the country are now focusing for a speedy trial and no delaying or bailing them out at any cost.
Thanks for coming by.
@WGB2U The headline was a thing my dad said when he read the headlines that day - he nodded and said "what ever happened to some of the men".
I am just hoping that writing about it and getting the message out there is a step towards change. Thanks for the support. So lovely of you to stop by.
When are you coming back to blogging?
@CorinneRodrigues The outrage is obvious. It has been happening too long and too often. It is high time there is some change for the better. There has to be a way in which incidents of such sorts are minimized. Maybe stricter laws, better justice and sense of security.
Maybe the outrage is the way India moves one step forward from this. At least for its woman.
@rdopping 2012 ended on a horrific note. It saddens me. Let's hope for a better 2013 - in all senses.
@rachel_howells I can see where the author's coming from, but I've never seen it as a "political" thing, nor am I the sort of feminist who's out to emasculate men or make the world "gender neutral." I expect equality of opportunity and civil rights, but men and women are different - and vive la difference! We needn't "politicize" anything. I read the article and didn't comment earlier because on some levels, it reminded me of an article I read - a serious, scholarly article, also by a Ph.D. - defending incest and familial child molestation. (NO, I don't mean that this one suggested anything so reprehensible, but that the notion that one Ph.D. had some corner on the "truth" or was more correct than all the others positing very different theories didn't sit well with me, and the article didn't fully convince me. Its tone, too, struck me as something not entirely "scholarly," but rather more argumentative - more a criticism of "feminists" than a serious look at the causes of rape. Which is fine - and definitely has a place in the discussion. Just explaining my initial reaction to it and lack of comment before now. I wasn't ignoring you. :)
@rachel_howells Thanks so much Rachel. I feel its a combination of those factors. I wouldn't say one thing alone. But yes, I wouldn't say it isn't about sex. It has to be about it from among the many things.
But the greater issue is, why are so many of us becoming devils?
@Late_Bloomers Sadly there was no one is the bus. But the bus passed through various public places and somehow no one seemed to notice. It is terrible - can't we trust public transport too?
It is such a horrible issue and it surprises me that in this day and age we are still fighting social battles of such a horrific nature. I have faith in mankind, I believe the change begins right here, within me, within you. Just that everyone needs to try and the change will come. Maybe the eternal optimist in me regarding this. I feel efforts don't go wasted.
I pray that their efforts don't get wasted. I hope this reaches and makes its impact.
@Hajra Yes, I think the attitude needs to change as well as the severity of the punishment. But the most effective deterrent would be the certainty of getting caught. You said in your article that of the 24,000 rapes that occurred last year, only one person was punished. Those odds seem pretty good for someone contemplating committing that horrible crime. If rapists were certain to get caught and punished, there would definitely be fewer rapes. With DNA evidence available, finding the rapist is easier than ever, if the police are willing and able to spend the funds to gather and analyze the evidence.
It's important that there is such outrage in Delhi. It's news here as well and we are cheering you on from afar. Major social movements get started because people such as you are brave enough to speak out, Hajra.
@Hajra @RobertaBudvietas Hajra, It is not the law that needs to be stricter but how community holds people accountable and responsible. The challenge today is that we think the government (law) will fix rather than knowing that things change only when we refuse to accept the behavior of others who violate each others freedoms
You're so right about the "step towards change" ... carry on!!
Oh ... this month I promise!!! (about the blogging). ;)
@Hajra You are so right: we need to have faith in mankind and the change begins with each individual!
@wonderoftech The people in Delhi are fighting and protesting for just that. Stricter laws so that people who do dare to commit crime think many times before they do it - they are aware of the trouble that WILL follow.
I don't live in the city anymore. Shifted to the Middle East. But I have friends who are a part of the protest and I hope an outrage like this, not only leads to better justice in India but also in places where crimes of such nature are rampant.
@Ideastodollars True. It has to stop somewhere.
@Hajra @RobertaBudvietas And therein lies the real conundrum. They feel they can get away because others got away and because no one holds them accountable for any of their actions. When people make excuses or allow young people to do as they please, they just keep thinking that it is their right to do as they please and so it continues.
@Hajra @Ideastodollars @RobertaBudvietas And one of those attitude changes is about being violated and the shame that women feel (men too) and also the performance and attitude of police. My first experience in Dehli was in 2007 with soldiers on the main streets with guns and traffic blocks at 2 am in the morning as a sole woman in a taxi with a driver who spoke little english. My attitude was to believe that I would get safely to my hotel and I did but I was frightened.
@Ideastodollars @RobertaBudvietas Nice point. So an attitude change is what really will make sense in the long run. But what is hurting the public in India is that they are no strict laws that deal with people committing crime of such kind. Also, many of the crime go unreported because the victims are too scared to the police.
@HollyJahangiri I have heard a couple of cases where the woman were fully dressed, one even wore a Burqa and was groped in public. One of the attackers said they "wanted to know whats behind all that cover".
@WGB2U I hope you do come back soon; we miss you, so very much! :)
@Late_Bloomers I am such a strong believer of the ripple effect! LOL!
Thanks for stopping by!