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Blowing My Trumpet… Loud!

January 28, 2012

Posted by Hajra under Blogging, Contest, Ego, Honesty, People, Self, Think, Wonder

68 Comments

Before going on to actually discussing my problem; do check out the book reviews I have done at Diana Simon’s blog and at Danielle’s blog.

If you have noticed I have a bit of a problem these days.

I am blowing my own trumpet way too much these days. Now, why am I doing that? Many reasons. For those of you who were wonderful enough to drop by, do know the root cause. I have a post up for a contest and I am desperately trying to play catch up and win it. For those of you who don’t know, please go and comment bomb it right now. See, I just promoted myself again… I have a problem.

And while you are at it, comment bomb Allie’s post too. That girl is awesome and she deserves some love!

Coming back to the problem; why do I think I have it? Again, for those enlightened ones, I did leave my job last month and there is about a week before I join the new one. (Say yayy everybody!) So, all my energy goes into blogging. My relatives actually say this “If you are calling to tell us about your contest post, please disconnect”. Hmm… see, I have a problem.

Am I blowing my own horns or am I just trying to win? Let’s debate
Go trumpet, it is needed!

Everywhere I go, I am supposed to tell people how good I am. At a recent job interview, I was asked this “why do you think you are better than the other candidates” ; “why do you think we should hire you”. Okay, not out and right trumpeting but yes, a certain amount of blowing my own horns story. Why I am better than the rest. So you see, it is more of a requirement. Unless and until I don’t do it, it might be considered as a “lack of confidence”. I can’t help it, I need to tell them how good I am..actually.

Be modest, behave!

Since when was praising yourself a good thing. I mean you blow the horns too loud and people call you “overconfident” (who coined that term). As a kid, mommy cold stared you when you told the other girls how your dress was pretty – er! And you might have to eat veggies for dinner if you told them your dad was the strongest and had the best car! Trumpet blowing was an offense and “modesty” was the norm.

What do we conclude?

Actually nothing. It is good, it is bad. I will do it when I need it. And I will bite my tongue when mommies’ cold stare replays itself in my head and I can’t block it away.

What is your take?

When was the last time you blew your trumpet loud and noisy? Does trumpet blowing have limits? How do you define those limits?

BTW Did you comment on my contest post? … Man, I still have that problem!

62 comments

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Deeone Higgs

You know they have medication for that.... hold on for just a moment, let me go get the name off of my prescription bottle. :D Hajra, you are too funny! I loved this post! I think what actually occurs is that every now and then, (more now, less then) we need an outlet to tell the world, "Hey, look at me!" I may be a bit bias, but I think it's totally worth it! ;) If you think about it, it's actually those type of people that end up changing the world. It's a conscious belief that we each have something that we can offer the world. When the right people listen, the world is changed because of it. So consider it a gift... yeah, let's go with that! A gift! ;) Not to mention, when you're helping others in the process, that certainly has to count for something, right? :D

Hajra

Hey Deeone, I did get you to write a short comment for me! Yayyy; I am a good therapist ;) I want to change the world, yes I do; I am just doing it one laugh at a time! We need to tell others how good we are and that is okay because sometimes it is the only way we have to go ahead and to prove ourselves! I believe that. But we need to draw the line between saying something nice about ourselves and bragging! Otherwise it just gets to be a lot of hot air! I like the part about the right people listening! :) Thanks so much for bringing so much value with everything you have to say! You are awesome! I am all up for helping others; nothing more satisfying and humbling than that!

Deeone Higgs

You're a great therapist. :) Hip Hip Horraaaay! :D There's always room for Jell-O... and improvements, eh? :D Thanks for giving me a few great laughs today, as always. :) Have a great weekend, Hajra.

Jeevan Jacob John

Hey Hajra, First of all, thanks for all those good comments you left at my blog. Coming back to your post, I think there are positives and negatives to promoting yourself or bragging (just like everything else): Positives: Bragging/promoting yourself is the only way you can start. For instance: If you are a new blogger, you really do need to spend a lot of time promoting yourself. You have to reach your audience through promoting. And when it comes to bragging, you have to do that too. Tell your audience, why they should listen to you :D Negatives: As you can guess, too much of self promotion and bragging really hurts (Too much of everything hurts). You should promote your content, but along with that promote others too. Help them out :D Best of luck with the contest, Jeevan

Hajra

Hey Jeevan, Thanks so much for stopping by! :) You have the pros and cons to this! Helping others is indeed a good way but there has to be a limit to which one promotes themselves. Out and right bragging has to be differentiated from proficiency! Thanks so much for stopping by!

Catherine "Cat" Alexandra

Dear Hajra, This was very well done and you sure do bring up a good point about the difference between unearned bragging versus warranted self-promotion! I think people tend to be their own worst critics and don't always realize that what they have accomplished and what they do are worthy of praise. - And moreso, that what they offer can really help others, but only if others can get to know about these accomplishments and offerings! I have been blowing my trumpet a good deal lately, as you saw from my own blog! :D I think that if there are limits to what is warranted horn blowing versus "hot windbagging" (lol) it's probably not so clearly defined, so we need to always act within the bounds of professionalism and do our best to be objective about how we share and what we say. Great thought-provoker here, Hajra! Very much appreciated! Cat Alexandra

Hajra

Hey Cat, I am so in love with your comment! :) I think we grow up being taught to be our own critic and be harsh at it; and somehow we always come across people who make bragging seem to easy! I like the way you blow your trumpet though! Makes it so much fun! As long as we are confident in who and what we are and not hurting others in any way, self praising a little bit shouldn't be such a problem! Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Annavi John

Blowing the Trumpet. Just another way out. But it must be properly blown with rhythm......

Hajra

I am trying my best to work on the rhythm!

Stan Faryna

The thing about horns is they make the most beautiful sounds... when they are blown for others. [warm smile] Ask others to blow their horns for you.

Hajra

Hey Stan, I like people blowing my horns for me ;) Off to ask them to do it more often!

Hajra

Makes so much sense! Thanks!

Sweepy (A D Joyce)

I think there's nothing wrong with blowing your own horn, meaning self promotion and being confident enough to recognize your strengths. Sometimes, it's the only way to get ahead of the pack. It seems women have a harder time with it than men do. I think we are taught to be more modest. Keep it up! I'm on my way to comment on your guest post! ;p

Hajra

Hi Adrienne! You think it is a gender thing too? Many people have conveyed that! Thanks so much for all the support sweetie! Getting ahead of the pack is really tough given the competition these days! Maybe having the confidence does get one places! Thanks so much!

Mikeymike3004

Hajra, I do think being confident in yourself is not a bad thing but you have to be careful with arrogance. I wrote a piece on a similar subject. You might like it. http://www.teach-yourself-guide.com/2012/01/28/confidence-or-arrogance-the-qualities-of-good-leadership/

Hajra

Hey Mike, Crossing the line is something one has to be very careful about! I will check out your posts right away!

Hajra

Hey Pretty Dentist! Don't be embarrassed; I am the kind of person who will pester you into coming if you don't show up after a long time! So yes, I am with you, the tooting was less! I should have done it more1 ;) I think our parents do a nice job of raising us up like good kids and modesty is lesson no one! So, when we do toot, we think of the lines we might be crossing. I think it a childhood rearing thing! Thanks for dropping by Claudia!

Jayme Soulati

OK, so I went already; dang girl -- more than 208 comments. That's rockin' it! Was that all I needed to do?

Hajra

Lol! Thanks! The competition has 260 comments! And my fingers are wearing off trying to pimp my post ;) Thanks so much! Every single comment is more than precious... You are wonderful! :)

Joy Page Manuel

I blow my own trumpet every time I post a new blog entry and then go to my various social media sites to post it / advertise it. I think that is an act of blowing one's trumpet. And it's necessary to some extent isn't it? We all need to believe in what we do, what we're capable of and of who we are. As long as you're comfortable with it, then go ahead and do it! My philosophy is that people who can't take it have their own choices. Don't worry about them. Just worry about yours. So....blow your trumpet away Hajra! :-)

Hajra

Hey Joy, It sure is! But with the contest thing I feel I am overdoing it... actually "forcing" people to come and comment and share and all. I like the positive attitude in the comment. I am just so honored to interact with such wonderful people who keep believing in me! :) Off to blow the trumpet!

Sonia

There is nothing with tooting your own horn every once in a while. People should be proud of their accomplishments and at least you take pride in your work. It says allot about the person and that they truly worked hard to get where they are. There is a big difference from showing off and being down right ignorant. Confidence is a trait people strive years to get. You either have it or you don't. You go girl!

Hajra

Hey Sonia, Thanks for the encouragement. Sometimes I feel I might be crossing the line and overdoing it; I thought it was time to pause and think whether I really am crossing it! Thanks for the support! Have a lovely day!

The JackB

You have to be your own advocate because no one else will do it for you.

Hajra

Aye, aye Captain ;)

Adrienne

I actually have a problem with blowing my own horn. Carolyn over at the Wonder of Tech gets upset with me sometimes when I'll write a guest post somewhere but not let anyone know. I just don't want anyone to feel obligated I suppose but then again, I get upset when they don't tell me they're guest posting because I want to show my support and comment. I see it can go both ways. I admire you for participating in the contest Hajra, I've yet to enter one myself. Time consuming is my only excuse but for these I think you deserve this opportunity to toot your own horn. I'm just happy to be able to do my small part. And you know I commented and shared so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. Don't worry, you aren't the only one that got those stares when we were kids. :-)

Hajra

Hey Adrienne, You should be doing more horn tooting girl! Going by the amazing community you have over at your blog and your ability to churn out such great posts time and again; I am surprised you wouldn't let people know about your guest post! People will be thronging your post... big time! :) And you worked for it , you worked for building that community and having that interaction so it isn't really blowing your horn, think of it as letting all the hard work pay! :) It's like a two way thing sweetie! We let you know about our posts; we want to know about your posts too! :) I can't thank you enough for your comment and shares at that! It is tough beating the competition out there but I have you guys supporting me through it! I have my fingers crossed too! Really, what's up with mommies ;)

Sylviane Nuccio

Great job, Hajra. I am a bit out of the loop about the contest itself, but I am sure that there is going to be a winner, somehow, right? If that's the case, I hope you win. You've been working hard, gal :)

Hajra

Hey Sylviane; It is getting tough because I am a little tired by asking for help! :) It is a little confusing for me! I am trying my best and that is the fun part for me! Thanks so much! P.S. I see a new gravatar :)

Amy Parmenter

Okay...as long as you're supporting the behavior -- I too, wrote about blowing your own horn in a popular (me again...) post entitled "What you could learn from Justin Bieber." bottom line is most people who we idolize or celebrate got there by promoting themselves. I am a reporter, and I see it every day -- even in a celebrity business like news. Those who believe in themselves and shamelessly promote themselves go farther. period. it's been a tough lesson to learn because I wasn't raised that way -- but I think it's tougher for women than men. But, it works. So...brag on... Amy Parmente The ParmFarm

Hajra

Lol! I ain't any celebrity..maybe I have to learn how to be one... but I might have to shed off my modesty to quite an extent! It is a gender thing you think? Men like bragging about accomplishment; maybe it makes them feel "manly"; but we women think too much before saying anything! Off to check your post now...!

Amy

oops. can't spell my own name. that's Parmenter!

Hajra

Ok, we get your right name now! :)

AllieRambles

Hajra, It is hard to promote oneself and also be modest. I think the key is to show confidence and never put anyone else down in the process. And I think you are doing perfect. We all know you are modest, so go ahead and promote yourself. Lol. ~Allie

Hajra

You are in the same boat :) It is getting tough and I feel I have to rethink so many things! Thanks so much for the support; I just comment bombed your post today! Making up for not having comment luv!

AllieRambles

I have a new post today! COMMENT BOMB away! It's a guest poster, she won't know what hit her. LOL.

Hajra

Ok, when I am there; I might comment bomb! Really, with all the craze for back links; she really won't know what is hitting her :) EVIL LAUGH!!!

Lalia

I like Roberta's comment.. the difference is all in the attitude ;)

Hajra

Yup.. the way you look at it makes all the difference!

Samantha Bangayan

Wow! I had no idea you had a new job coming up, Hajra! YAYY indeed! =) I hope it's exactly what you're looking for. And I hear you on the good and the bad of blowing our trumpets. Personally, I always feel uncomfortable doing so, even if I need to do it. =P Now that I think about it, maybe it's because I can't get rid of mommy's disapproving face. =P

Hajra

Yup! Will message you the details :) It is not exact.. but it is better than before! I used to feel uncomfortable even when I had to; but then sometimes you just have to. Like at job interviews, not sounding all conceited but the sense of confidence and belief in your abilities might work to your advantage! Lol! Mommy's the world over.... why that face? ;)

Derek Potocki

Hi Hajra, Derek frm Goalsblogger here. You are talking about the continuum: I'M A PIECE OF S#$%T (on one side) I'M CONCEITED (on the other side) Oh the beauty of life. Not easy, not easy. We need to position ourselves somewhere in the middle of this line, which the ancients call moderation I believe. Any movement towards each of the opposites gets us in trouble. Thank you for a fun post. Greetings:)

Hajra

I like the two ends of the continuum! No matter where we position ourselves we should be aware of why we are doing what we are doing and how justifiable it is! Thanks for dropping by!

Cath

The others made excellent comments so I will just say I don't blow my own trumpet, but have found that it is ok to accept compliments about your abilities and not feel guilty. I think you have a level head and are well balanced. :D

Hajra

Hey Cath! I am flying high with that compliment! :)

Leora Wenger

Hajra, Some people toot and never listen. You clearly listen! Some don't toot enough. I always ask myself - how do I say so in a way that people can hear? And am I telling the right people? Some are more open to hearing ones accomplishments. You've got the right pattern here - say something important about yourself, and then ask others their opinion. Listen, and respond. We all can learn from that.

Hajra

Hey Leora, So I toot and I listen... that makes me an okay tooter :) Listening is so important. I think the reason I became a shrink was that people thought I didn't listen so much as a kid... now I just listen all the time! :) Thanks so much for dropping by! Remind me..I haven't been to your blog for some time now... off I go! :)

Vidya Sury

I am very glad you blew your trumpet. That's a very kickass post you have over at Jane's. You'll win. Great to have met you. Looking forward to more interaction!

Hajra

Hey Vidya, Lol! Thanks for reading and dropping a lovely comment! I hope I do... the competition is very tough! Looking forward to drop by at your place! :)

Barbara Klein

Hey Hajra, Love your post, your writing has changed over the last days, ever so often I catch myself laughing out loud at your comments. Oops, not meaning what could be implied here, I always liked your sense of humour, but it has a nice bite (and still respectful) to it now. Do I know these cold Mommy stares? You bet: do not brag, do not boast, do not speak about your feelings, do give and do not take. How does this prepare us for modern days challenges? Not so well, but given the chance of uncounted job interviews these days, we know our strong and weak points and how to relate them to a job's requirements. You are doing a fine job playing the horn, a nice tune with a very catchy refrain!

Hajra

Hey Barbara, That's my plan... make every one a lil crazy.. one laugh at a time :) I am all gleaming by that compliment! I am so glad you like what I have to say.. sometimes even I don't like what I have to say ;) I think we had the same mom incarnated in two different people! It absolutely makes you such a weakling given the modern day wants and needs. Sometimes I think how I got to be this person... :) Thanks so much; I plan to play it all the more loud! You just made my day! :)

Barbara Klein

Hey Hajra, LOL (did I ever tell you I hate all the abbreviations, mainly because I do not understand them), told the Swiss incarnation about her twin, she just asked "what is an Indian girl doing in Abu Dhabi?" and wants to reassure you it is safe to walk Chica! I have heart the trumpet, this is a concert on main street.

Hajra

Lol! I loved the reply :) Playing the trumpet again!

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